Over a cuppa! - Advice and Support
Relationships, friendships, children, finances, health issues and more!
We are bombarded with issues day after day and catching up with our girlfriends to hash them out is bordering on impossible.
"Over a cuppa!" is here 24 hours a day so send your questions to us and save your precious time with your friends for cheerful conversation. Now make yourself a coffee, send us your questions and we will offer you the best advice we have...
For whom the bell tolls!
Q. I am so embarrassed! I was visiting my son's school and I was heading towards the staffroom. Outside there was a button, the doorbell (I thought). I pressed it. Suddenly a bell started ringing loudly and the kids all headed inside. The teachers ran out screaming "No! It was a mistake!". I fled... How am I going to show my face at my son's school ever again?
A. Haha ha ha ha...hang on my sides are killing me. That is just hilarious. You may be embarrassed now but you have one of the funniest stories ever to tell your friends. You have to laugh. The humiliation will fade I promise. The thought of those desperate teachers clinging to their precious lunchtime will keep a smile on your face and mine for a lifetime.
Nits move in and won't leave!
Q. Help! I am ready to shave my child's head. She has been getting nits for this whole year! I use everything I can buy and think they are gone but then straight after returning to school it all starts again. I swear the last shampoo I used didn't even make them feel ill.
A. Nits suck! I feel for you because my daughter was similar. Sadly you can't make other parents treat their kids and sounds like your daughter's (like mine) seems to have hair nits love! Here is my recipe for nit removal.
1. Use a dog flea comb and comb out all the nits you can onto a sheet of paper. (Crush them with the handle of the comb)
2. Put in conditioner with treetea oil added (any nit product will do but don't wet the hair) and comb it through
3. Wait the 15 minutes or follow instructions on packet.
4.Comb in shower
5.Continue combing as often as you can and pull eggs out using your nails and crushing with the flea comb handle. (eggs are usually behind the ears, in the fringe and base of the neck).
Use the shampoo at least a couple of times a day (only if natural ingredients) until numbers drop. Keep combing whenever you can and ask the child to tip their head forward and comb the hair backwards.(as this apparently breaks their legs). Good luck!
Bringing Brats Home!
Q. My kids seem to be attracting those kids that really make my skin crawl and I am to the point where I really struggle to let the kids bring their friends home. I feel really bad but I find it way too stressful having them here.
Children these days feel free to ask for things from the cupboard, tell you to make them something else cause they don't like what you are offering, ask you to stop at the dairy for goodies, help themselves to your computer or follow you around complaining. I really can't handle it. Surely not all children are this way; I would die if I ever thought my child was acting that way at someone else's house.
A. I have to agree with you here. Kids are a lot more forward then when we were young but you need to remember you are in charge of your home. Make sure your child knows all the rules before they have a friend around. What they can eat, play on etc. If the visiting child follows you around with questions redirect them to your child for the answer.
If you still have problems with a particular child don't be afraid to say no to having them come over. You deserve to be comfortable in your own home. Suggest another child that you don't mind having over.
Check out questions from previous weeks
(Click on the topic you wish to view.)
Bullying and being Bullied!
Q. I am at my wits end! My son always seems to be the target of bullies in the school playground. He is pulled, pushed and everything he owns is destroyed. We have been through 3 lunchboxes this year! I have been to the school and they don't seem to be able to do anything. In fact they say he brings it on himself! When he gets home from school he unleashes his frustration on my 3 year old. What do I do now?
A. This is an increasingly common but hushed situation with many frustrated mothers taking on schools to keep their children safe. Some schools do what they can and others... well... don't seem to care. Have a look at this article from a NZ teacher and a parent. It should have some more ideas for you. However I will add this: If the school isn't dedicated to solving the problem there are plenty more that will. Best of luck.
Q. My cat smells funny! I can't tell if it's his breath or something else. Why would that happen?
A. Cats are usually rather clean unless they are so fat they can't clean themselves. You haven't mentioned what type of smell it is but if your first thoughts were his/her breath I am thinking a vet is in order.
He/she may have been in a fight and received a bite that may now be infected. This is called an abscess and can be caused by other things as well. With our cats we have seen many of them.
Or He/she may have a tooth issue... It's hard to say but we do recommend that you take him to a vet.
Either way a smelly cat is not a fun pet and needs some help. For everyone's sake! Look at this link for some more information from cats of australia about abscesses.
Disloyal in the workplace?
Q. I know my workmate is looking for another job. It's like she is hardly even trying to cover it up. Doesn't she know I would love to have her job? It all seems so disloyal! Should I let management know?
A. The answer is absolutely "NO!" about going to management. Everyone has the right to look for another job. Besides it often works out the best for everyone when an employee that has lost the passion moves on. If the flaunting situation is making you feel uncomfortable then perhaps you could have a chat with her and let her know how you feel.
Mums Mental Health
Q. I have this friend who has several kids and she is always talking about taking her life. She has even made a few false attempts. It makes me so cross because it stresses me and I fear what she will one day do. Can I stop her saying this stuff?
A. Wow that is a major stress for you. Sounds like your friend is looking for attention and she should certainly receive it. You can never take these sorts of things as just words. She needs some help. Has she seen her doctor or plunket worker? (you didn't say how old her kids were.) Have a look at our Help page it has some really good contacts for this type of situation. It's important to remember that this is having an effect on you too and you need to take care of yourself as well. Our thoughts are with you on this one.
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